Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Lessons Learned from "Lost" (SPOILERS THIS TIME)

Spoilers follow.

No matter how many people you murder for hire or revenge, no matter how many people you torture (even if it’s for asthma medicine), no matter what dark forces you serve who are trying to destroy the world, you still get to go to heaven.

If you are a doctor who violates the Hippocratic oath, deliberately killing a patient, cut open a dural sack to blackmail people into saving your friends, even if you become a drug addict after ratting out your father for the same offense, and order the torture of an innocent man, you still get to go to heaven.


If you steal a woman’s child, raising her as your own and then allow her to die to save yourself—even if you bring a woman to an island so that you can claim ownership of her—if you constantly lie, cheat, even murder an entire village of people (not to mention the island’s protector) to advance your own interests, you still get to go to heaven.

You can blow up your stepfather’s house, killing him, get your husband killed while fleeing the police, rob a bank just to get a pair of plastic wings, and you still get to go to heaven.

You can con people out of hundreds of thousands of dollars, strangle a bound man, shoot another for revenge, have a child out of wedlock, rob dead bodies to keep their items for barter, and shoot a polar bear, and you still get to go to heaven.

What did you have to do to go to hell on “Lost?”

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